He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
