Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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