If you die in college, do you die in real life?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
