So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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