this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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