i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
