did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
