The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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