In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
