haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
