are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
