hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
