Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
