They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
