Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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