Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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