Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
