The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize