addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
