she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
