everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
