Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
