how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
