I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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