like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
