i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
