oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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