Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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