Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
