Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
