Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
