i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize