either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
