I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
