is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
