cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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