found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
