i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
