Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
