So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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