So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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