You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
