so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
