Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
