Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Are we still banned from the library?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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