is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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