Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
