Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
