He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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