You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
