that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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