normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
