I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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