Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
