You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just invented taco cereal.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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