my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
