Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
