operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
