Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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