i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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