It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
