Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
