If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
foreskin is a definite game changer
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
